Stop Self-Sabotage!
Do you ever feel like you’re your own worst enemy? You set goals, make plans and then somehow manage to mess things up for yourself. You know what you want to achieve, but you keep getting in your own way. This is called self-sabotage and it’s more common than you might think. But the good news is that you can learn to overcome it with the right mindset and strategies.
As a coach, I’ve worked with many clients who struggle with self-sabotage. Some common examples include:
- Procrastinating instead of acting on important tasks
- Sabotaging relationships by pushing people away or picking fights.
- Engaging in self-destructive behaviours like overeating, drinking too much, or spending money recklessly
- Undermining their own success by doubting themselves or playing it small.
These behaviours can be frustrating and confusing, but they all have one thing in common: they are driven by subconscious beliefs and fears. Self-sabotage is often rooted in feelings of unworthiness, fear of failure or success or a need for control. When we don’t believe we deserve success or are afraid of what might happen if we achieve it, we subconsciously sabotage ourselves to stay in our comfort zone.
So, what can you do to break the cycle of self-sabotage? Here are some tips:
1. Identify your triggers
The first step in overcoming self-sabotage is to identify what triggers it. What situations or emotions tend to make you engage in self-sabotaging behaviours? Is it when you feel overwhelmed, scared, or stressed? By understanding your triggers, you can learn to anticipate and manage them more effectively.
2. Challenge your beliefs
Self-sabotage is often driven by limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. Take some time to reflect on the beliefs that might be holding you back. Are you telling yourself things like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed”? Once you’ve identified these beliefs, challenge them with evidence to the contrary. For example, if you’re telling yourself you’re not good enough, make a list of your accomplishments and strengths.
3. Set realistic goals
Sometimes we set ourselves up for self-sabotage by setting unrealistic goals or expectations. Be honest with yourself about what you can realistically achieve in the short and long-term. Set specific, measurable, and achievable goals that align with your values and priorities.
4. Practice self-compassion
Self-sabotage often stems from a lack of self-compassion. We’re harder on ourselves than we would be on others, and we expect perfection. Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes or shortcomings, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding and remember that failure is a natural part of growth and learning.
5. Seek support
Breaking the cycle of self-sabotage can be challenging, and it’s okay to ask for help. Consider working with a coach, therapist, or mentor who can provide guidance and accountability. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who believe in you and your goals.
Remember, self-sabotage is a common and understandable behaviour, but it’s not inevitable. With the right mindset and strategies, you can learn to overcome it and achieve your goals. Start by identifying your triggers, challenging your beliefs, setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion and seeking support. You deserve success, and with the right approach, you can achieve it.